White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller received a prestigious judicial recognition this week when U.S. District Judge Beryl Howell officially confirmed he is either ignorant or incompetent regarding immigration law, or possibly both, sources who can read legal documents reported.
The landmark designation came after Miller boldly instructed federal agents to conduct warrantless arrests based on "reasonable suspicion" rather than probable cause, apparently having confused the Fourth Amendment with a suggestion box at Applebee's.
Judge Howell characterized Miller's legal claims as demonstrating that policymakers crafting the administration's immigration enforcement directives were fundamentally ignorant or incompetent about what the law actually permits, giving Miller the distinction of potentially failing at understanding basic constitutional requirements in not one, but two impressive ways simultaneously.
Miller's groundbreaking "just arrest people and figure out the law later" strategy showcased his commitment to governing without the burden of legal knowledge. His directive to target individuals at Home Depots and 7-Elevens revealed a sophisticated approach to constitutional law that legal scholars describe as "spectacularly wrong on every conceivable level."
The administration defended Miller's arrests-without-probable-cause policy by suggesting their own officials might not understand legal terminology, a defense strategy experts are calling "weaponized incompetence meets constitutional illiteracy."
Miller's innovative quota system of 3,000 daily ICE arrests demonstrated his belief that the Constitution works like a Costco membership—bulk arrests equal bulk savings on due process.
When reached for comment, Miller reportedly stared intensely at a wall and whispered "executive power" seventeen times while clutching a pocket Constitution he has definitely never opened.
Judge Howell's ruling restricting warrantless arrests marks a rare setback for Miller's "ignorance is strength" approach to immigration policy. Legal experts confirmed this is the first time a sitting White House official has been judicially recognized for achieving both ignorance and incompetence in a single policy directive, calling it "an impressive feat of aggressive constitutional illiteracy."
