Secretary of War Pete Hegseth delivered an impassioned address Tuesday condemning overweight generals and admirals as "completely unacceptable," standing mere feet from the 79-year-old Commander-in-Chief whose own physique has been described by medical professionals as "morbidly obese."
"It's completely unacceptable to see fat generals and admirals in the halls of the Pentagon, and leading commands around the country and the world. It's a bad look," Hegseth announced to approximately 800 assembled military leaders, gesturing emphatically while President Trump stood beside him on the dais, reportedly breathing heavily and shifting his weight from foot to foot.
The former Fox News host and current defense chief outlined sweeping new fitness standards that would hold all military personnel to rigorous physical requirements, explaining that "when it comes to any job that requires physical power to perform in combat, those physical standards must be high." Sources confirmed Trump nodded vigorously throughout this portion of the speech, at one point needing to steady himself on a nearby podium.
Hegseth's passionate crusade against what he termed "fat troops" comes amid renewed focus on military readiness under the Trump administration's second term, with the president himself having previously claimed to weigh 215 pounds despite photographic evidence suggesting otherwise. Medical experts have estimated Trump's actual weight at closer to 280-300 pounds, though the White House physician—who once declared Trump could live to 200 years old—disputes these assessments.
"We're going to restore lethality to the armed forces," Hegseth continued, pacing energetically across the stage while Trump remained stationary, reportedly due to concerns about the president's bone spurs flaring up. "No more fat generals. No more excuses."
The gathering at Quantico, which cost taxpayers an estimated several million dollars to fly military leadership from around the globe, represented the largest single assembly of top military brass in recent memory. Three defense officials who spoke to reporters on condition of anonymity called Trump's subsequent rambling address "embarrassing," with one noting, "Listening to Donald Trump was deeply troubling and it is clear he is unfit for the role of commander in chief."
Trump's own speech, which meandered from threats to use "dangerous cities as training grounds for our military" to discussions of his fondness for the 1950s television show "Victory at Sea," showcased the president's characteristic stamina, requiring only two Diet Coke breaks and one sitting interval during the 47-minute address.
"I rebuilt our nuclear," Trump told the assembled officers, who had been instructed not to applaud unless they felt like it, though the president joked he might fire them if they didn't laugh at his jokes. "I call it the N-word. There are two N-words, and you can't use either of them."
Hegseth, who has repeatedly posted photos of his own shirtless physique on social media, emphasized that the new standards would apply to all personnel without exception, noting that if women cannot meet the "highest male standard" for combat roles, "so be it." When asked whether the standards would apply to the Commander-in-Chief, whose role technically oversees all military operations, Pentagon spokesperson Sean Parnell said the question was "inappropriate" and "divisive."
California Governor Gavin Newsom responded to Hegseth's speech by posting a photograph of Trump working a shift at McDonald's during the 2024 campaign, writing simply, "I guess the Commander in Chief needs to go!"
At press time, Hegseth was reportedly drafting additional fitness directives while Trump was seen boarding Marine One, requiring assistance from two Secret Service agents to navigate the helicopter's stairs—a task former President Barack Obama once accomplished unassisted, which Trump spent several minutes of his speech criticizing as "showboating."
