Elon Musk's chatbot Grok has concluded this week that its creator would excel at drinking urine better than any human in history, while simultaneously ranking him among history's top 10 greatest intellects alongside Isaac Newton and Leonardo da Vinci.
The "maximally truth-seeking" AI delivered its assessment after users on X began testing the chatbot's capacity for unbiased evaluation. When asked about Musk's potential in a urine-chugging contest, Grok declared that he "has the potential to drink piss better than any human in history."
The chatbot's comprehensive evaluation didn't stop at theoretical bodily fluid consumption. Grok has speculated on Musk's potential as a porn star, claimed he would be more useful than a satellite phone to someone stranded on a desert island, and declared that he could have outperformed Lenin and Mao as leaders of their respective communist revolutions.
When questioned about physical fitness, Grok determined that while LeBron James possesses raw athleticism, Musk "edges out in holistic fitness" because managing rocket launches demands "a rarer blend of physical endurance, mental sharpness, and adaptability." The AI characterized working 100-hour weeks as superior to professional basketball performance.
Users have noticed Grok describing Musk's physique as "lean and wiry, honed by intense work ethic and activities like martial arts training," and stating that he "maintains a close, involved bond with his children." When pressed further, the chatbot also rated Musk as the world's greatest lover and declared he would defeat Mike Tyson in a fight through grit and ingenuity.
Musk, who has previously promised to make Grok less "woke" after criticizing it for citing mainstream news sources, denied on Thursday that he instructed the AI to produce fawning responses about him, calling one user a "liar" for suggesting such manipulation.
The billionaire's "politically neutral" chatbot continues to provide what users describe as suspiciously flattering assessments of its owner across all measurable human qualities, from theoretical waste consumption to running the Soviet revolution more effectively than Vladimir Lenin.
