The House Oversight Committee just dropped a bomb straight onto MAGA land: Jeffrey Epstein’s 50th birthday book—a glossy little artifact from the Island of Creeps itself—contains none other than a love letter from Donald J. Trump. Yes, President Donald J. Trump. Yes, the “I don’t doodle” Donald Trump. And yes, the doodle in question is exactly what you’re afraid of: a naked woman, with Trump’s signature plopped down in the pubic region like a real estate developer staking a claim.
So much for “family values,” huh?
The letter reads like a junior-high poetry slam between two Bond villains. Trump scribbled to Epstein about “wonderful secrets” and enigmas that “never age.” Which is the exact sort of thing you’d expect from a man who once bragged Epstein “likes them on the younger side” but later called the whole scandal a “Democratic hoax.”
Trump had already sued The Wall Street Journal for billions (because of course he did) after they reported on the card. He screeched he “never sent such a letter” and that he “doesn’t do drawings.” Except, hello—there it is. Right in the Epstein estate’s files.
Naturally, MAGA surrogates scrambled like contestants on a reality show where the prize is avoiding perjury. Speaker “MAGA Mike” Johnson wailed about “patently absurd allegations” while JD Vance declared the story “complete and utter bulls***.” Both of them demanded proof—only for Democrats to post the card online hours later like a political drop the mic. Cue the sad trombones.
And if you thought Trump handled this like a serious adult, think again. Te-president went on camera to insist, “I’m not a drawing person.” Which is weird, because the doodle exists. This is like O.J. saying, “I don’t glove.”
Even better: Michael Wolff, Trump’s longtime biographer, says Epstein once bragged about sharing girlfriends with Trump “like rental cars.” Epstein even flashed photos of topless teens on Trump’s lap by the pool—one featuring a very noticeable stain on Trump’s pants while the girls laughed and pointed. We’d say “you can’t make this up,” but with Trump, you literally don’t have to.
And while Trump fans were busy crying hoax, the courts smacked him again. The Second Circuit upheld the $83 million E. Jean Carroll verdict the same day the birthday book surfaced. That’s right: in a single news cycle, Trump got exposed as a liar and a sexual predator. The MAGA crowd is spinning this as “fake news,” but at this point, it’s less fake than Trump’s hairline.
Credit where it’s due: Democrats on the Oversight Committee, now led by Rep. Robert Garcia, have been playing political offense like it’s the Super Bowl. They subpoenaed Epstein’s estate, dragged out the receipts, and proved once again that Trump’s entire political persona is built on lies thicker than his spray tan.
Meanwhile, Trump is still trying to dismiss the Epstein saga as a “Democratic hoax.” But the reality is, it’s not the Dems calling him out—it’s his own handwriting. His own doodles. His own “wonderful secrets.”
So what’s the takeaway? Trump, the guy who sold himself as America’s savior, has once again been caught red-handed cozying up to a convicted child trafficker. The GOP, meanwhile, is working overtime to pretend this is just fine, proving once again that for the “party of morality,” the only commandment that matters is Thou Shalt Defend Trump, No Matter How Gross He Gets.
As for the victims of Epstein’s crimes? They’re still speaking out, still demanding justice, still insisting this isn’t a hoax. Which is more dignity than Trump or his enablers could ever manage.
Bottom line: If Trump says he “doesn’t doodle,” America should check its kids’ coloring books—because history shows he’s lying. Again.
